I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
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Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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