my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
