There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
