11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Swine flu is the new snow day.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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