he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
