So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
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