Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Too much gin, very little bucket
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
