You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
