Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
