Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
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