I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
