forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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