stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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