the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
