apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Randomize
