i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize