Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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