That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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