I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. Itβs all the rage
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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