Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
