dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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