question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Randomize
