finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize