i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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