can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize