a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
