upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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