he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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