Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
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