There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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