Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
