my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
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