He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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