Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
