I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize