I'm so fucking centered right now
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize