I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
