I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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