Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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