11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
