I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize