jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
My dick has a subreddit
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
