who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Farmville is her only friend.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
