I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
