i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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