babies were throwing up all over the place
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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