come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
she told me i tasted like america
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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