she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
