Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
