What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
