Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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