he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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