3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
