i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
