just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
