I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Randomize
