I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Randomize
