Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
