He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
