Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
